be(w)itching be@Witch

(Well sorry for not writing for a while now. I was suffering from Blogger's Block ( lie, i did not find a topic to write about). I wanted to pen something about the Durga Puja but I felt every other Bong who writes blog must have written about it. So the Idea got dropped. I wanted to post the pictures of Pujas I visited but again Google has many better. Not being very religious I don't have the perfect Bong Connect with Goddess Durga. Well Durga Puja is not the topic.)

 Today I pondered upon various articles and blogs at one go, so I found an interesting piece on BBC page about how language changes grows evolves with passage of time. Again let me inform its not about my deep thoughts on literature. But this piece of writing compelled me to write about the topic I was thinking about for a year or so. But before I start let me give you the background.

Back to Durga Puja

On  Dussehra that's Dashami in Bangla, my Mom and I went to see the Bisarjan  (dispersion) of Goddess to the water body near our house and my Pink College. Our neighbours also accompanied us, so my Mom sat with them and I with my cousin's friends. Everything I was going well, I was happily clicking pictures and enjoying my isolation in watching fireworks. But my twisted fate never leaves me at peace. Besides me a bunch of tenth graders sat, new to the world of Drinking, Smoking and Slang's. I was tolerating the nuisance they were creating besides me. Then it turned ugly, soon the jokes turned Vulgar and were targeted towards the beauties near me and finally the ugly duckling me. I was getting hyper and at that Point My dear besty my partner in sin called. He asked what I was doing to which I replied I was sitting near some bunch of "Jerks". They heard it, so they were trying to disturb me in my call. So they began the slang war, they thought I was just a "double battery"(a person who wears specs) with no words in kitty . My lexicon of Slang finally compelled them to turn away. When  Ravan was burned I stood up with clear victory , but one of the boys mildly uttered "Bitch". I just smiled and left. 

So what does this plot less story has to offer here? Well I have learned slang religiously since grade seven. I am a moving lexicon of slangs in English and Hindi. Well the BBC article spoke off wide range use of slangs on social networking. Yes I am part of that Era too. I being a student of Literature know both the bad as well as good language. 

I don't know about time gone by, but in my Time slangs are cool and a honor to show off. When that boy called me Bitch I felt proud. Yes I did. When I was kid, Stupid was a bad word, Dog a shame shame word. Over the years not only me but my classmates and people of my age older and younger  have started taking pleasure in Slangs. Its like a Knighthood in disguise. Being a girl Bitch is the worst form of slang a girl can get. Even Sluts and Dyke don't stand up to a classic old slang Bitch. Frida Khalo may have started it when she quoted "I WAS BORN A BITCH. I WAS BORN A PAINTER". Well I don't know who started it, but whoever did I lover her. I have occasionally been called anything other then a Bitch. My bestfriends and Soul sister too feel the words suit me most. 

The question is which breed of Bitch am I? My dog Miley is a Dachshund, Litu was German Spitz etc. When I get scolded I become a Poodle, when I am angry I become Spaniel, when I am on stage I am a Akita, when I am with friends I am a Chihuahua, when I take lead I am a Female Alpha Bitch (not possible). Whenever I hear someone tell here comes the bitch, I remember the book 'The call of the Wild'. No way I am like Buck, but I can relate to Buck. One day I will be like Buck the Alpha who leads a pack of wolfs. Finally I choose to be a Pug in general times. 

I have a story rather my original version of how the word  Bitch came up.

 Once upon a time a king travlled deep into the woods. He lost his way and entered broken house. The house was like any witches house full of herbs and bones. He met a sweet double battery witch. The witch was deep in her book 'The White Fang'. The king moved to her and asked for her help, she peeped through her specs and said she would help him. The King saw the tooth fairy had fairly done injustice to the Witch. After feeding the King she asked for a piece of clothe. She took it and went out came back after a hour or two. She asked the King to go out of the hut and wait under the banyan tree he will be guided by her pet out of the forest safely. So as assumed he was guided out by the pet out, as token of thank you he presented the pet with a collar (I don't know where he found it). After many days The king who by this time fell in love with the Double battery witch went to find her. Soon they found out the pet wondering around wearing the collar. They followed the pet, the pet entered the river, where it turned out to be the Witch. Did I say the pet was a dog? never mind. He saw the dog turned into the witch. The secret was out. The king though in love could not marry a witch, he still could have convinced the council to allow a witch queen. But a Dog Witchy Queen was not ever to happen. He saw that the witch was looking at the collar and sobbing. The King went to her and said his dilemma. The witch surprised by this got furious,  and turned back to the Dog. She ran wild thinking she was ugly, a dog and a witch, no one would love her or care, she ran and ran.  Finally she was stopped by the King. The King apologized to her, and said he loved her even if she was a witch who could turn into a dog. So he said "even if you are a witch and you can turn to a dog, I love you, you have bewitched me. Hence from today all the female dogs will be called as bitch so from Bewitch we minus the "ew" we find Bitch.  Hence A bitch is a more strong, beautiful, loyal and good companion to be with.  So the word Bewitch says- "Be a Bitch you Witch".

This story was my on spot creation, I hope you liked it, one day it might turn into a novel. So  as a self certified Witch , I proudly say I have been certified by people who hate me , dislike me , love me, adore me, admire me as a Bitch. As Tina Fey says "You know what, Bitches Get Stuff Done." I really do get my stuff done. 

I have my personal slang for my besties and me, which is my original creation- "Virgin Bitch" before anyone claims its their invention, I officially declare it as my creation all copy rights belong to me and only me. 

So I enjoy being called a Bitch or anything haters like, best thing about our generation is we are thick skin, we hardly feel ashamed. Shamelessness and Slang have really defined us. I am not a Drug addict or Troubled damsel. Today I just felt yes language is evolving with our attitude. But I am standing up for those bewitching bitches who fight everyday to prove that only Alpha Male is not a a Title to show but Bitch too.  In the End Bitches Stand out no matter WHAT....

to put my ideas to perspective  you can  read the Open Magazine,  will make my ideas more clear.

P.S- Im bewitching the world with my bitchy witchy words in my way.

thanking you to bear with me

paulOaries